Not all people are going to agree with each other. That is what makes us unique as individuals. Everyone bring’s in their own life experiences and perspectives into relationships. Disagreeing is part of human nature. How we approach and try to resolve these disagreements is an important in conflict resolution. This holds especially true when addressing sensitive issues that create conflict between people. Unfortunately, not all approaches and interactions in resolving issues is helpful.
One example of this type of communication is getting lost in the argument. This is when one party brings up a point of dispute to another party. The receiving party would bring up an issue that would shift focus onto a different part of that argument , leaving the initial issue unresolved. This issue would be someone related to the topic, but not directed at the specific issue at hand. An example of this would be a wife who expresses concern about her husband's drinking. Instead of directly addressing that topic, his response would be bringing in to the discussion how she nags him and that is why he drinks so much. By diverting attention to that comment and defending herself, the initial concern never gets addressed. The wife is getting lost in the argument.
Another example is a parent who confronts a teenager about his substance abuse.If a parent is against him using and does not want him to use, that is the issue to focus on. Focusing on the medical benefits, how harmless the youth feels it is, and that everyone is doing it, is getting lost in the argument. This parent would be spending time defending her reason and debating other issues rather than the issue itself. The longer that discussion goes in the other direction, the less likely it will be resolved.
Sometimes getting lost in the argument is intentional and meant to misdirect a discussion. This would be used as a way of avoiding direct discussion about a topic that a person does not want to be discussed. Other times it is a result of poor communication skills. When a party realizes they are getting lost in the argument, the focus should be brought back to the topic at hand. Other issues could be addressed once there is some resolution to the initial dispute.
