Everyone has their own “self talk” or inner voice. They may not come up as thought bubbles as they do in cartoons, but to some degree we all access them. This internal dialogue plays an active role in our decision
making. We evaluate decisions based on past experiences, personal preferences, individual interpretations of events, and motivation at the moment. Sometimes, our self talk contradicts itself. For example, if you are on a diet and are offered a chocolate cake for dessert, your self talk may go something like this: “Boy, that cake looks good”, “This will ruin my diet”, “Well I could burn this off tomorrow by spending extra time on the treadmill”, “if I give in to it this time, I will further put myself off from my goal of losing weight”.
Self talk influences not only how you make your decisions, but how you feel about yourself. People with low self esteem may access negative thought process that contributes to how they value themselves. These thoughts could also present themselves as self defeating and negative. Individuals may convince themselves opportunities won’t turn out right. This prevents them from achieving goals and enforces feeling stuck. Here are some common patterns of faulty thinking:
- Overgeneralization: A conclusion is drawn bases on a single or limited experience. If a person does not get a job he/she desired the thought would be “I never get jobs I want so why bother.”
- Black and White Thinking: Looking at everything as all or none. “If I do not get an A in the class I will be a failure. “
- Should statements: A person believes the universe SHOULD have predictable outcomes the way he/she sees things. “Must” and “ought statements are close relatives of should statements. “People should stay in the right lane if they are going under 60 miles an hour.”
This list is not exclusive. There are other examples of faulty thinking that can be referenced. The problem with this type of thinking is that it’s counterproductive. It is important to be aware of your own thought process and how it influences your life on a daily basis. If you recognize that thoughts are counterproductive, work at challenging them. Work at being more aware of how you approach situations and make decisions. Proactively, you can predict situations where negative self talk hampers your decision-making and prepare for them. Avoiding the situation could also be an option. If you are trying to stop drinking, going to a bar with your drinking buddies, may make it harder to stay with your goal. The environment would make it more difficult for the logical voice to prevail. A decision could be made based on a desire rather than what is best overall for you.
